Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
