And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
