she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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