One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We got so high we made milksteak
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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