i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
