he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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