Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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