I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
