do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
