I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
