so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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