Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
