it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize