8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
