bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
