I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
