Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
