Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i came on her dog
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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