I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
