when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize