I'm so fucking centered right now
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize