I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
