i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
