i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I came so hard my ears popped.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
