highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize