you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
