there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
