come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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