she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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