So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
