marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
