She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
