I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
