You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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