i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
