you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
