i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
