Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
