So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize