He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
