just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
