blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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