mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
