Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
