I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
