I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
