i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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