The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize