I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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