By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My balls are so social today.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
