There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
