At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
my liver is dry heaving
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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