Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
