You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
