what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
