Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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