he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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