She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
