She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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