He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
