just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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