Ambien. No doubt about it.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
