yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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