I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
