WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
