so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
