Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize