he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
