You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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